Tightrope
by FadedLace
Summary: That fateful night when Gojyo saved Cho Gonou...no one would have thought it, but he was doing a good deed. shounen ai: 58 GojyoHakkai, oneshot, songfic


Title: Tightrope

Disclaimer: I don't own Saiyuki, Gensoumaden or otherwise.

Rating: PG for language

Warnings: Shounen ai, 58 (GojyoHakkai)

Author's note: This song means cool stuff. I don't like the actual song. But I like what it means. And the whole English paragraph ("the sun sets", etc.) is to show the passage of time.

_So, we go on refining life like an ever-sharpened knife_

Blood stained the ground, youkai blood, his own blood. He had been lying there for God knows how long, waiting for the inevitable and (to his dismay) wondering just how long it would take him to die. He was just beginning to drift away when he vaguely heard footsteps. Just to the spite the life that he was sure hated him, he opened his eyes.

_And our faces are reflected on the back of a windowpane_

A red-haired man stood above him now, glancing down at him with an expression of vague disgust. He glared back at the man with all of his near-death might, warning him silently not to save the man before him. Assuring him that saving this dying youkai would not be a "good deed" (if there ever was such a thing as "good"), that letting him live would be making his existence hell.

_Now the target's set as me if my weaknesses they see _

He guessed later that that was why the man decided to save him.

_It will come to haunt me once again_

He didn't see what he had expected. Hell, he thought, was rather anticlimactic. But then an unfamiliar voice that he somehow recognized reminded him of the last thing he remembered before he thought he had left the world of the living.

The man who had saved him.

_With that pressure hemming in on you from on every other side_

He had wanted to die. He had wanted to get away from it all, from everything, from life. But now that he saw this red-haired, red-eye man, he began to doubt that desire. There was something about him that made him just want to keep living. He didn't know for what cause, but there was definitely something about his man.

_We smile just like the other folks but with a lot more pride_

Sha Gojyo; that was the man's name. He was glad that Gojyo had saved him, and not some other, for Gojyo was healing him on the inside. It wasn't only the aura of sheer life around him, but his manner, his voice, his eyes. Gojyo made him smile; not the hollow smile that he had built to guard him, but a real, delighted smile.

_Oh, I'm sure no matter who you are, it always stays the same_

And it wasn't only Gojyo's physical being, but something about how his mind seemed to work. He didn't want to admit it and it almost didn't seem plausible, being as they were two completely different characters, but it was plausible if not quite possible that Gojyo might actually understand him.

_I must fight against myself_

And that was why he waited as long as he did to tell Gojyo that his name was Cho Gonou.

_So, such an angelic face now coming down the road_

He had been walking home from gambling (at least, that's how he remembered it) when he had seen the man. It wasn't the blood or the guts that had first caught his attention, though. It was the man's eyes. They were so beautiful, so captivating, and yet so spiteful. And they said quite plainly that the man didn't want to be saved.

_Unable to foretell sudden tragedy will unfold_

That was probably why he had decided to save him.

_With never a sound With nary a cry I look up to the blue sky_

The man couldn't object; he had passed out by the time he was being carried back to his "saviour"'s home. And he couldn't help but feeling like he was doing the right thing, no matter how much the almost-dead man thought otherwise. There was something about this man that craved life, and, goddamnit, he was going to get it.

_And now keep acting out the roles you have in any scene you play_

He remembered quite clearly when the man awoke. He had already had a doctor in to see him and everything (it surprised him how much he was doing for this stranger), and the man was recovering well. But, at the moment when he woke up, the man looked almost dead again. Of course, he broke the mood by announcing how anticlimactic "hell" was.

_Before you talk of dreams or hope in any other way_

He never thought about asking the man's name when he introduced himself as Gojyo. He caught his attention by saying "Hey you," or just addressing him directly. But he did notice how the man seemed to be healing. And something about made Gojyo want to stop smoking for his recovery, to allow him to stay in his bed. Something about him made Gojyo feel he was healing himself.

_Oh, I'm sure no matter who you are, it always stays the same_

And something about this man remind Gojyo somehow of himself, his sadness, his pain. But it also made him feel happy, feel almost excited to be around him. Gojyo didn't recognize the feeling, but he kind-of liked it.

_You must fight against yourself_

And that was why he protected the criminal Cho Gonou.

_The sun sets and a new day comes_

_Repeating is one change_

_Don't avert eyes from differences_

_Your nerve and soul to the limit Go forward now_

_With pressure hemming in on you from on every other side_

Blood stained the ground. Youkai blood. Enemy blood. The bodies of Kougaiji's latest assassins were scattered around them, lifeless now. It gave Hakkai a sense of guilt, but it was kill or be killed. Or worse. Kill or have those you care about killed.

_We smile just like the other folks but with a lot more pride_

"Well. That sucked." Gojyo made the announcement off handedly because it was given, but his words seemed to make Hakkai, who had been looking depressed, smile. And it wasn't his usual façade either. That made Gojyo smile, too.

_Oh, I'm sure no matter who you are, it always stays the same_

Hakkai noticed Gojyo's response in passing and it made him feel better instantly. It was the same feeling he had felt all those years ago. It was still healing him.

_I must fight against myself_

Just as it had healed Gonou.

_Oh, I'm sure no matter who you are, it always stays the same_

Gojyo noticed Hakkai's manner cheer up considerably, and it cheered him up, as well. He had a feeling that his healing affect on Hakkai was working on him as well. All these years later.

_You must fight against yourself_

Just as Gonou had healed him. All those years ago.


End file.
